The New York Times has a rather lengthy article on pet monkeys. Which I thought we had addressed ages ago with the Primetime special on “monkids”, but I guess Travis (that bastard, ruining it for everyone) has us looking at all this monkey-owning in a different light.

Read “My Monkey, My Self” and meet Bob and Carlie. They’re longtime partners and seem to agree on everything,  everything except whether or not their baboon, Higgins, should be shipped off to an animal sanctuary.

But he watches HDTV! He’s one of the family! They raised him since he was a baby baboon! All convincing reasons he should stay. And then … then you read this:

On one occasion, they got in a wrestling match, and Higgins put one of his “steel-like fingernails” through Bob’s scrotum.

I’m not a man, I can only imagine what that feels like, but if ever there is a reason to ship your monkey away, this is the reason.

There’s HIggins, in monkey jail.